What the Hell?
by Kinelea
Summary: Roger walks in on Mimi and Mark having hand sex...confusion, taunting and hilarity ensues. Response to Challenge 16.


**What the Hell?**

**A/N**: This is a response to Challenge #16 from challenge central. It will probably make a bit more sense if you've seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show but it's definitely not necessary. Wrote this at 2:30 in the morning after my friend went offline and I was browsing through the challenges again. Hope you all like it.

**Summary: **Roger walks in on Mimi and Mark having hand sex...confusion, taunting and hilarity ensues. Response to Challenge #16.

**Challenge:** "Either Mark Cohen or Roger Davis has to be the central character. But pairings are your own choice.Basically, whatever pairing you choose has to have "sex"…without having actual sex. This means, no hand jobs, oral activities, or intercourse of any kind. Basically, they are to have phone sex, eye sex, scarf sex, verbal sex, mental sex, kiss sex, or any kind of sex that isn't sex that you can think of."

Roger could tell something was extremely off as soon as he stepped in the door. Not off in a terrible, depressing way but in a sort of 'what the fuck is going on' kind of way. The strains of 'The Time Warp' that he'd pretended not to hear as he walked down the hall should have been his first clue. He'd almost been afraid to open the door and walk in to see what his roommate was up to…but then pride got in the way. What the Hell was he scared of? It was just Mark, right? Plain old, nerdy Mark. His best friend. Wasn't that scary. Of course not. So he'd opened the door and come right in, Fender in hand, a light dusting of snow covering the shoulders of his leather jacket and the top of his head. But snow was the least of his worries.

Upon actually entering the loft, Roger was forced to pause at the door. Yes…what he was hearing was definitely from 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. That alone should have been enough to terrify the musician and he should have followed his first instinct, which was to quietly slink into his room and pretend his roommate and whatever he happened to be doing didn't exist. He couldn't just do that though…Roger was actually curious. It was a fatalistic kind of curious, yes, but he just couldn't help himself. He just _had _to see what Mark was up to. Quietly leaning the Fender against a wall and beginning to shed the leather jacket, he ventured further into his home.

Giggles. There were definitely giggles coming from that corner where they kept the TV and as Roger approached he could see two heads over the back of the couch. Two…meaning Mark wasn't alone. Well…no kidding. Mark didn't giggle (not to Roger's knowledge, anyway) and especially not in such a…girlish way. Unless his best friend had suddenly sprouted a second, rather girlish head, then the filmmaker definitely had company. Female company. Roger was getting more wary by the second, his pace slowing a good deal as he once again wondered if he really wanted to know what was going on. It was unusual to walk in on Mark and female company, but the filmmaker was only human, after all. He needed company at times too…Roger just would rather not know about it.

There was some sort of sick fascination that kept drawing him towards that sofa with the two heads. One was clearly Mark's, sporting his blonde hair and nerdy hair cut, the other, the visitor's covered in dark locks which Roger found he rather liked the look of. Which also seemed rather familiar…That caused him to frown slightly. Familiar hair…wait a minute…

It was more than morbid fascination that carried him forward now and quickened his pace, it was an urgent need to disprove what his mind had just conjured. Rounding the edge of the couch he saw the two full on…which made his handsome features twist into a grimace of puzzlement. Mark and Mimi were sitting on the couch, sort of facing each other, though twisted to be able to look at the screen as well. Mark had a somewhat goofy grin on his features, the images from the television screen reflecting in his glasses, as blue eyes flickered from those images to the sultry Spanish lady across from him. Mimi herself sported a mile wide grin, more of those girlish giggles erupting as she too looked from the screen to Mark. Roger failed to see what was so humourous about the situation though as what they were doing was far from scandalous. Their arms were outstretched, and their palms met about halfway between their bodies, their hands slowly moving up and down in mirror motions with each other.

"What the Hell?"

Roger's puzzled outburst drew their attention to him immediately. Mimi's giggles turned into full out laughter as her hands fell from Mark's and to her sides. Mark grinned sheepishly, and also returned his hands to his sides. "Hey, Rog." He said, calmly, though there seemed a sly tone to his voice for a reason Roger didn't understand. Roger merely blinked in response and his green eyes flickered to Mimi, who waved at him. "Hey babe." She laughed after this and glanced coyly in Mark's direction, the filmmaker meeting the gaze and the whole action making it seem as though they'd been caught doing something naughty…and yet were attempting to pass it off as completely normal.

"What were you doing?" Roger's puzzlement still held in his voice and Mimi laughed again, that joyous melody that he so loved, joined quickly with Mark's chuckling. Mimi glanced at Mark again, in that same sort of way as before, as though urging him to disclose this dirty little secret of theirs. Mark merely nodded and leaned back comfortably, lacing his fingers behind his head and regarding Roger.

"Hand sex." He announced, non chalantly, which set Mimi to laughing again.

"Hand…what?" Confusion abounded in Roger's tone, though also a sort of wariness, as though he felt like he should be offended by his girlfriend having any sort of 'sex' with someone other than him…though couldn't really be since he'd never heard the term before.

"Hand sex." Mimi repeated, clearly enjoying herself and Mark's grin merely grew wider. Roger was slightly irked by their unwillingness to let him in on the joke.

"What the Hell is that?"

"What we were doing." Mark supplied, easily enough. Roger rolled his eyes.

"Clearly…but…what _is_ it? I've never heard of it before."

'Rocky Horror' continued to blare away on the television screen, though it was now mostly ignored by the trio. Roger had never actually seen the movie, he'd just heard some of the music, which was how he'd been able to identify 'The Time Warp' from out in the hall. He wondered if maybe having seen the movie would have clued him into what his friends were doing and what they found so funny.

Mimi's laughter rang out once more as Roger belatedly noticed that the snow on top of his head had melted and the resulting water was seeping through his hair and onto his scalp…an unpleasant feeling to say the least. She recovered a second or two later and continued grinning at him. "It's just…hand sex, babe. Hard to explain. We should try it sometime, though." She winked seductively which only further confused Roger and caused Mark to playfully roll his eyes. If this was something she wanted to do with him shouldn't he feel offended that she'd done it with Mark? Then again, he'd seen it and all it was was them touching palms and moving their arms up and down in unison…God, why were his friends so confusing?

"You guys really aren't going to explain it to me?" He tried, feebly, one last time. Maybe they'd take pity on him.

Mark shrugged and Mimi just laughed again (she was doing a lot of laughing…drunk maybe? He didn't like to consider the other option…). "Sorry, Rog. We tried. Watch the rest of the movie with us, maybe you'll figure it out."

Oh, yeah, that was so helpful. _Thank you, Mark, for making everything clear._ Roger sighed and shook his head, finally giving up. "No thanks. I think I'll just…go to my room." He waited a moment, to see if either would further comment and maybe enlighten him on a whim but no such miracle occurred. Mimi nodded, and blew him a kiss, grinning, before returning to her movie watching and Mark just smiled secretly to himself, eyes also going back to the screen. Wondering why he was even friends with the strange pair, Roger shook his head again and went off to his room, leaving them to their movie and their hand sex. He had a feeling he was better off not understanding anyway.


End file.
